good grief sutra

don't underestimate the overlooked; when it suddenly appears, it will be one energetic and revealing ride. eyes open!

the 5 stages of grief are just the 5 flavors of thought. kind of fascinating to watch them form & melt. but lick one & your heart burns or freezes.

and you will lick them all or they’ll lick you.


1st stage of grief is called denial. i call it sadness. an extroverted thought-emotion. crying is usually its outward sign.

2nd stage of grief is another extroverted thought-emotion: anger. its outward sign is a loud voicing or physical action.

3rd stage of grief is bargaining; i call it fear. an introverted thought-emotion. its inward sign is a stress, strain, anxiety.

4th stage of grief is called negotiation; i call it depression. an inward thought emotion. its inward sign is a physical malaise.


the 1st four stages happen as thoughts arising. if you buy into the thought, you're in for a ride. but they need to be acknowledged or else they keep on returning.

at first, the grief thought dominates the ego thought; later, the ego thought may utilize the grief thought.


the final one of the five stages of grief is acceptance. ah, this is the trickiest one. for this too must pass.

when a cycle of thoughts incessantly arise, it helps to write them all down; now those little objects are pinned in place for safe-keeping.

when the thoughts are later reviewed, one can see already a change in one’s point of view toward them; the story is not as consistent as one believes: the personal ego shift.


the fifth stage of grief is called acceptance: ‘i know what happened & accept it.’ but there could be a 6th stage: non-acceptance. but a 7th stage?

in non-acceptance, whichever thought pattern dominates the personal ego (sadness, anger, depression, or fear) will remain to direct the grief.

in acceptance, the personal ego will continue to believe in its ongoing story, just creating a new one from the recent grief.

the 7th stage of grief, transcendence: i don’t know what really happened. not acceptance nor non-acceptance; it is what it is: life/love/i-am happening.