twee verse 10 - understand

(Sunrise ~Georgia O'Keefe)

if not

understand,

then love.


if understand,

no then,

love.

twee verse 9 - game

(Humanity ~M.C. Escher)

the world is a mind

game

where winning is

losing

and losing is

winning

a chance to lose

all

winning & losing

seeing

through the mind

game

twee verse 8 - done

one is done

by that

unknown—


as a person,

that’s filtered by

daze of social conditioning—


as being,

that’s enlightened in

a wisdom of one self

twee verse 7 - this

[Ras Lila ~Satchitananda Das)

o enchanting

creativity

of consciousness—


unbelievable

point

of existence—


o this love-this

sun-this joy-this

one-this kiss-this


bliss—

this

that!

twee verse 6 - pretending

The Last Supper after da Vinci ~ Magnus (www.art-of-magnus.com)

dying is easy,

illusion is hard—


biography is story

pretending to be facts


about a dream


pretending to be real—

i’m transubstantiating


nothing

twee verse 5 - is

Chalkboard Universe ~Rob Gonsalves

either

Mind awakening is


the evolutionary

intention of

the universe


with almost all

powers of mind

arranged against it


or nothing really

is

twee verse 4 - peace

'A Bigger Message' ~David Hockney

world

is

war—


one can never

force a way

to peace—


war wasn't built in a day

but you are peace

now—


one peace at a time—

surrender

to one Self

twee verse 3 - oh

an old man

in a cotton tee shirt

looks through the glass—


the morning stirs

to empty branches

covered in a film of snow—


oh what an awakening!

twee verse 2 - awareness

awareness is

the music.

body-mind is

the amplifier.


turn it to

eleven.

pass all

distortion.


awareness is

aware of

awareness.

peace out.

twee verse 1 - thinking

it's not

the quality,

inclination,

or impairment of


a person's thinking

that results

in suffering;

it's the thinking


one is a person,

period

something

from the introduction:

Since 2009, I’ve been tweeting lines and collecting them into short pieces. Early on in the process, poems were being written in this manner. Later, the lines became more autonomous, and at some point I began to call the groupings sutras. Not all the time, but a lot of the time. Earlier this month, I collected 108 of them, all written in 2012, in book form and called it ‘one thing, nothing, everything.’

I then decided to select the “best” writings from the previous four collections and present them in this volume called ‘something.’ I’ve also included some new unpublished writings from the past few months and so have subtitled this book, ‘a little new and largely selected.’ They are collected from newest to oldest, and so the further into the book one proceeds, the more immature they may appear. That is part of this process in understanding.

Next will be a collection of peculiar stories gathered from a few books which will be called ‘anything.’

And these three books will form a series called ‘The Essential Son Rivers,’ none of which are truly essential. But we had some happiness. Some were originally written under the names of Aumshantidatta and Aum Dada, but I’ve come to see them all as the writings of Son Rivers (my legal name is Greg Perry and a few earlier collections have been published as such). These three represent a certain time in this phenomenon which appears to have come to a close. For now.

standing sutra sonnet

wanderer above the sea of fog - friedrich

the world is lost in translation—

it’s from where one actually stands

and not from where one speaks—

it's not an issue of looking inward

as much as it is the fact of standing there—

it's not as much dropping as turning—

don't act your age but be your Self—

not shining a light in but shining your light out—

not of the world but the world in you—

not stand by me but stand as Self.

why desire what you already are?

why look inward when you're already there?

why be somebody if you're already being?

feel that unnameable in all one is.

one thing, nothing, everything (new kindle)

the listening sutra sonnet

as usual, silence says it best.

the fact is nothing anyone can think or say is true;

truth is what you are and only what you are is telling the truth—

listen.

all precepts and instructions are there to help quiet the ambient sound so one can listen,

but too often these means become a righteous end.

do whatever you need to do to listen;

choose whatever noise-proofing works for you, if any;

most importantly, listen to what you are—period.

the great paradox in listening to what one is:

one needs to be what one is to listen to what one is;

hence, neti neti, not a person, rest—be.

the greatest non-paradox is one always is what one is;

so always listen...

the superfluous super sutra sonnet

precepts are for two, wisdom is one, truth none.

dedicate your birth to being unborn.

love until you are love; surrender until there is no one to surrender.

the paradox of precepts and commandments dividing the world into good and bad, helping to ensure continuing division, violence and suffering—

as long as one identifies with thought & its inherently divisional nature, one will inevitably be divisional in the world despite all effort.

the closer one delves into egoic self, the more divisional and violent it appears—not the heart of darkness but the tear of separation.

all world improvement begins and ends in the no mind nondoing effortless aspect of knowlovedge in action; to attempt otherwise is futile.

the secret is there is no secret; manifestation is "you" as one.

there is only one desire, that of division returning to unity, but it is sorely misdirected by its own division.

as beauty is truth and truth beauty, so gravity is love and love gravity.

ultimately life is a superfluous entanglement of that one desire to be something one already is.

relatively speaking, evolution is the process in which lapsed light desires & acquires the means from enduring light to know itself as light.

once you know you are, that's all there is—

don't forget it.

awarelovebe sonnet

sobjective—

egoetry—

happenchronicity.

knowlovedge—

onetuitive—

awarelovebe.

it's not simple because 'simple' is just another concept.

dreaming is in mind and of mind but mind is not the dream.

the way is all about getting out of the way.

love is playing at a theater in you.

see what you are and the ground will be your way.

impermanence on my mind; embodiment in my heart.

to knowledge that's mystery; to love that's grace.

awareloveness awarelovebliss awarelovesee awarelovebe

i gatha

   no

   yes

   X

   love

.............consciousness mantra.............

keep in mind

you're not

the bodymind,

intuitively feel

that all is one

i am...


that

unknown

is you

as love

in action

universal self sonnet

faith is not belief

but rather the trusting of

another one's experience

until confirmed by one's own experience—

not blind but seeing.

relax and repeat something to this effect:

consciousness is the way;

the person only gets in the way.

keep in mind you are not the mind.

the universe and you is thought;

universal self is intuition.

drop the whole universe

and breathe easy in what remains—

rest in the threshold of one's universal self.

thirteen lines from reality's sonnet

in unknown

reality

vibrates being

and everything known

is sung in being

and pure awareness

is

the silent echo

of utterly untold

reality

in being and truly

i am that

in which this is singing

dream avatar sutra sonnet

this is what may best be called a dream. and in this dream, i have divided myself into ten thousand patterns.

and with each pattern, i have identified, and thus think every other pattern happens to be not my self. this is what some call the original sin.

and this partial identification and resultant separation is the origin of all suffering, and what some call the human condition.

and so i have appeared to my partial "selves" as what some may call an avatar and in ten thousand ways have revealed one way: there is no separation.

i have revealed such so-called separation is just a concept. i have revealed that love is separation understanding there is no separation.

but my separate “selves” have misunderstood my revelation, and in turn created deeper levels of separation which are called religions and beliefs—

and watch the suffering inherent in this misunderstanding as if it was something separate from myself. but it is not.

there are no words to say what i am, but only words to say what i am not. and in this via negativa, one will stop and be that way unknown.

save oneself from that which one needs not be saved and in turn one saves all.

see what one is not and rest in what one is and that which what one is will be what one is not.

one who troubles with others will always be that which is separate from oneself.

one who loves the other is one who sees no other.

thus one love is no one.

and no one is one unknown.

five tweets in search of a poem

indian summer on the river. almost all boats and docks now gone. wilderness always here returning.

high tide returning to the sea. strong southwest wind is steady. noontime sun fills the southern expanse. three kayaks floating by.

a lobster boat motors loudly by heading upriver for the winter towing its inflatable dinghy in its wake.

old jet contrails mar an otherwise silent cloudless sky.

only seagulls on the water. there! maybe an eagle above the pines.

om and shunyakasha sonnet

as long as matter is seen as something objectively separate, one will appear to be subjectively separate, and love won't steer the stars—

this is the dawning of the age of that timelessness.

action originating from that unknown space of affectionate awareness is akin to creation's genesis from the void, that so-called big bang—

in other words, the big bang is not a moment in some light year past but always happening now.

there are many ways to say something that can't be said & not a single reason to say any of them, so why one says them is the only question—

one is everything and nothing, infinity and absolute zero, this and that, om... and shunyakasha.

no one dies; all is unborn; identifying with impermanence is the original sin; drop it—

after negating misunderstanding, one rests in the threshold of one's universal self.

just because one inhabits a frame doesn't mean one is the frame—

patterns are not individual; this space endorses no one—

listen absolutely; utter infinitely—

bare trees reveal the space of truth—

the birds are feeding like nobody's business—

now never goes anywhere; let the silence sing.

is sonnet

truth is not cool—

dropping off body and mind is not hip—

awakening is not the latest thing—

reality is not trendsetting—

emptiness is not experimental—

consciousness is not new wave—

enlightenment is not state-of-the-art—

being is not xtreme—

awareness is not informed—

embodiment is not abreast—

silence is not psychobabble—

self-inquiry is not self-improvement—

nondoing is never done—

that is not this.

Absolutely Ashtavakra

The Ashtavakra Gita is some pure stuff. And the commentary by Ramesh Balsekar in his translation called Duet of One is primo as well.

Let it be said no words can speak the truth. At best, all they can do is help deprogram one from all the words that cloud the truth. And the Ashtavakra is some of the best deconditioner out there. Just lather, rinse, and done.

In particular, I’d like to point to a single verse and Balsekar’s commentary. First, the student, Janaka, is responding to his teacher, Ashtavakra, who has spoken his truth in the previous 20 verses:

“As I Myself illumine this body, so also do I reveal this whole universe. Therefore, the entire universe is Mine alone, or else nothing is mine.” (22)

And Balsekar’s commentary is enlightening:

Janaka has suddenly realized his noumenality, but in the phenomenal sense; otherwise there would be no awareness of “I”. Noumenality can not know “I” because in noumenality there is no duality of the knower and the known.

For definition purposes, consider phenomenon as this which is perceived by the senses, and noumenon as that which is not, and therefore completely unknowable.

So in other words, Janaka has realized the Absolute, or God the Parent as Jesus the Guru called it, but in a relative sense. Otherwise, what is there to realize? The Absolute cannot know itself, be aware of itself, for all there is is itself. As such, deep sleep is the closest analogy to such absolute awareness. No object, just subject.

Balsekar continues:

Without the noumenon, the phenomena cannot appear because it is the noumenal light which illumines them. And unless the phenomena are seen, the noumenon cannot be known.

Here is the crux of the truth. Noumenon, God the Parent, the Absolute is one with Phenomena, God the Child, Universal Being. Again, in the relative sense, the universe appears to exist only when the light of the Absolute shines on it. Furthermore, the Absolute is only seen because the universe is shining.

Hence, a guru such as Nisargadatta Maharaj advises the student to relax and watch the "I Am" or Universal Being for "reality is just behind it. Keep quiet, keep silent; it will emerge, or, rather, it will take you in."

As Balsekar summarizes:

Indeed, what Janaka has experienced is that the noumenon and the phenomena are not two but one. The “me” in Janaka has experienced the “I”, and “he” has become liberated!

Absolutely.

Note on Illustration: Joy Elamkunnapuzha drew the original design in 1977, and V. Balan executed it in mosaic style on the facade of the Chapel at Dharmaram College in Bangalore, India. Christ is presented here as a yogi in meditation under the sacred peepal tree.

phenomenal sonnet

words words everywhere and not a breath of truth.

to sleep, conceivably to dream—eye, there's the world.

the cat in the hat and the scat on the mat and the rat in the vat and even this chat is all simply that.

to every time there is a space—

the good, the bad, and the tao.

the ten thousand ways of bare trees scratch the surface of the sky.

leaves fall & the tree remains; trees fall & earth remains; earths fall & the universe remains; universes fall & that remains. all is that.

was it meant to be? no. but it is what it is. so is it meant to be? yes.

the four preliminaries: one is always reality; one is always unborn; one is never a person; drop everything.

praise be.

one wakes to the world and cries, is this all there is? no; that is.

phenomena is absolutely phenomenal only because you are absolute.

light is always calling itself back home.

the true mystical experience is one of no experience.

A Meditation on the Four Preliminaries of the Yoga of Lojong or The Little Engine That Could

A spiritual friend of mine is taking classes in Lojong, a Tibetan Buddhist mind-training practice which revolves around meditating on 59 slogans, the first of which is to train in the four preliminaries. As we discussed the preliminaries together, we realized it was a genius stroke to make this the first slogan, because in effect, this supplies the engine, the earnestness, as Nisargadatta Maharaj calls it, that is absolutely necessary for realization.

First, maintain an awareness of the preciousness of human life. If one sees the universe as a holistic entity and the human being as an organ within that universal organism, then the human mind is its crown of creation, its way toward self-awareness and reality itself.

Second, realize this human life ends, and all is impermanent. In other words, there is only so much time for the human being to perform its precious responsibility. The universe is depending on you right here and right now.

Third, be aware of the suffering nature of samsara, the dream state. The human being attempts to make the impermanent into something of permanence, including itself, or to be more precise, what it assumes to be itself. It is an impossible task, and thus creates a world of suffering. And this suffering only increases the desire for something permanent. It’s a vicious cycle.

Fourth, understand there is a cause and result to all human action. In other words, if it is the human desire for permanence which creates samsara, then what was made can be unmade. In the simple act of understanding, the human mind “attains” its natural state of awareness, Buddhahood. And this simple so-called act is the saving grace of the Bodhisattva itself. For in pure awareness, all samsara is seen for what it is, nothing real.

Gita Yields: Arjuna and the Yoga of Surrender

I come here to praise Arjuna. Most translations I’ve read treat the poor man with mocking disrespect. Furthermore, most translations have an axe of belief to grind. And Arjuna is their whetstone.

Krishna begins his discourse on the many yogas in Chapter Two of the Bhagavad Gita. The truth spoken is indeed godlike. Here, Krishna begins to speak of the eternal Atman as well as Karma Yoga, working with no end in mind. This was Gandhi’s way and the source of his famous quote: “They say, 'means are, after all, means'. I would say, 'means are, after all, everything'. As the means so the end...”

But none of this truth is heard without an all-important “act” of Arjuna’s early in the chapter. In fact, the first words in the chapter are Krishna’s admonishment to an egoic Arjuna. Yet Arjuna once again speaks in despair. But this time the emphasis is on an unwillingness to slay his previous teachers and gurus.

And then comes the all-important “act.” Here are three translations of his words to Krishna (2:7 and I would have loved to use Christopher Isherwood’s translation, but he skips this section of the chapter!):

“Hence I ask thee—tell me, I pray thee—in no uncertain language—wherein lies my good? I am thy disciple. Guide me. I seek refuge in thee.” ~Mohandas Gandhi

“I ask thee which may be the better—that tell me decisively. I take refuge as a disciple with thee; enlighten me.” ~Sri Aurobindo

“I beg of you to say for sure what is right for me to do. I am your disciple. Please teach me, for I have taken refuge in you” ~Sri Swami Satchinanda

Yes, Arjuna surrenders! Not to fear or loathing, but to Krishna Himself!

This is the one prerequisite for all real spirituality. In Zen, it’s called dropping off body and mind. In Advaita, it’s the essence of non-doing. In true Christianity, it’s thy will be done. Nisargadatta Maharaj says to “relax and watch the 'I am'.”

Arjuna rests in Krishna Consciousness and listens.

Gita Down: Visada Yoga of Despair, The Door to Grace

There are currently six billion possible interpretations of the Bhagavad Gita; here’s one concerning Chapter One. Arjuna takes a new perspective.

The battle between good and evil is about to begin, and Arjuna, who literally has God, aka Krishna, on his side, decides to move into the middle of the battlefield to take a look at his enemy.

And from this new point of view, his world is shattered. He sees the brotherhood of humanity, literally. There, within the evil forces of Dhritarashtra, he sees family and friends. The world is not as black and white as he believed.

And in a moment of despair, he drops his weapon and sits right down, not out of some philosophy of non-violence as Gandhi is quick to point out in his commentary on the Gita, and not out of some misguided morality as others have understood, but from the shock of one who has suddenly seen the falsehood of belief and thus the madness of this world.

It is exactly a similar moment of despair that brought Siddhartha Gautama to his quest for Buddhahood.

For some, these moments are epiphanies that play out for years. Adyashanti talks about his experience as a child when he realized the grownups around him actually believed their own lies. It led to years of Zen meditation before his awakening. Or this moment may be a sudden realization as Eckhart Tolle has related when he sees through the duality of his suicidal anguish.

It is the Dark Night of the Soul or maybe Disturbing Years of Twilight. But this suffering and despair is indeed a yoga that brings us toward the necessary questioning of what the world is, and more importantly, who I am. And, in turn, the grace of God, Krishna, Consciousness, What I Am, will reveal nothing but the truth.

The fact that Arjuna sits down is not a fluke. It’s not some weakness on his behalf. Yes, there’s attachment and yes, there’s rationalization, and yes, yes, yes, there’s deep dark confusion. It all comes from the human response to a sudden realization something’s rotten in Kurukshetra.

And without such a moment, Krishna doesn’t have his say.

My Three Nisargadattas

1. Reading

Reading Nisargadatta can be confusing for the novice. I know because I’ve been there. It sometimes appears he is advising contradictory practices. In a way, he is. Although it is true he is always Consciousness speaking to Consciousness, he is also speaking about various aspects of one state, and instructing practices toward each.

And in his talks, Nisargadatta is speaking to a spectrum of participants and communicating to each in the manner of their current understanding. So one’s own understanding will not necessarily be similar to the understanding receiving the instructions he is giving. Don’t be concerned with that though.

Nisargadatta’s talks are not directed toward the person. They are directed toward Being. Leave the intellect out of the way. What is intended to be understood in the current moment will be understood. Upon subsequent readings, other understanding will be revealed. Each reading is a new experience.

2. Wisdom

However, a simple guideline to Nisargadatta’s wisdom will be useful. Here, in what may be the simplest, clearest, most comprehensive assertion of spiritual metaphysics I’ve ever seen, he speaks of the three ways of naming the one state:

In reality there is only one state; when distorted by self-identification it is called a person, when colored with the sense of being, it is the witness; when colorless and limitless, it is called the Supreme. [bold formatting is mine]

One could do no worse than read that one sentence once a day ad infinitum. For in effect, Nisargadatta’s Way addresses these three aspects in a spectrum of various approaches.

As an aside and a note of comparison, in Christian terminology, these would be known as the sinner (to whom God the Holy Spirit descends), God the Son (or Christ Consciousness), and God the Father. Also, Nisargadatta often refers to the Supreme as Pure Awareness, which is reflected (colored) in phenomena as Consciousness.

3. Practice

For that which is called a person, he advises: “No effort can take you there, only the clarity of understanding. Trace your misunderstandings and abandon them, that is all.” In other words, deconstruct the person; this could be called the work of the spiritual warrior. From the state of pure being like a newborn, one has been domesticated, or socially conditioned, into a person. One has identified with various thoughts which have been delivered to you by parents, relatives, teachers, and friends, with which you, as pure being, have agreed to. It is the role of the spiritual warrior or seeker, to trace these misunderstandings and abandon them, letting them drop away in the light of understanding. In doing so, one loses the human form, revealing one’s Being.

For that which is called Being or the witness, Nisargadatta advises: “There is nothing to seek and find, for there is nothing lost. Relax and watch the 'I am'. Reality is just behind it.” In a similar instruction, he says:

There is awareness [i.e The Supreme] in every state of consciousness [i.e Being, Witness]. Therefore the very consciousness of being conscious is already a movement in awareness. Interest in your stream of consciousness takes you to awareness.

In other words, being conscious of being conscious is in itself the heartfelt way to reality.

As for the Supreme, he advises: “Keep quiet, keep silent; it will emerge, or, rather, it will take you in.” Similarly, he has said: “The only way of knowing it is to be it. The mind cannot reach it. To perceive it does not need the senses; to know it, does not need the mind.” Here we arrive at the absolute instruction, the one for which there is no one to receive. Therefore, for most, it will only be valuable as a pointer to some distant space or time. It is as if Nisargadatta is pointing to that time before the Big Bang, to that space of no space: here and now.

If one were to create a timeline to these instructions, it would be:

1.      Trace misunderstandings and abandon them; deconstruct the person, lose the human form.

2.      As no person, without attachment or identification with thought, be conscious of being conscious, watch the I Am.

3.      In Being, keep silent; there is nothing further you can do; the Absolute will take you in.

But they are not a timeline, and will often be practiced simultaneously in some fashion: deconstruct thought; meditate being; be silent—be That.

A Story of Reality

In essence, this is the story: God the Child (the One, Universal Consciousness) has fallen asleep, descending from Light to molecular matter. And in its earthly stirrings, in the early grips of that groggy aumnesia that comes from an abrupt waking into human nodes of self-awareness, this Unified Network of Consciousness identifies with each seemingly separate node and "each" usurps the Absolute Subjectivity of the Unknown, God the Parent. It isn’t and so it suffers accordingly. WAKE UP! This is your yogi calling, the satguru, the Holy Spirit.

the god sutra sonnet

you are the crown of creation; all this so-called evolution has dreamed you up for what?

the body has ten thousand (& that number is used the ancient chinese way) quintessential galaxies within its universe within the parabrahman.

in other words, you ain't the body except the body likes to think it is, because it does, wouldn't you, if you were the body?

seriously. the body-mind tries to usurp (thank you ramesh) the ultimate subjectivity but it always fails, then tries again, and always fails.

and this is why surrender is the ultimate act of any spirituality, beyond any beginner's practice of energy or silence or that in-between.

so holistically it's known there absolutely is no you; so how could you do anything? in fact, anything you do is refutation of that holistic.

this is 'resting in awareness;' it's surrender to what is; don't get caught in all the language; just see the seeing; seeing will see.

here's the religious rub. consciousness is the mirror reflecting an absolute. so one thinks if one polishes the mirror, one will see clearly.

and here's where all the yogas come into play, whether they be dietary or moralistic, attempting to clear that mirror, bless them all.

but here's the ultimate rub. only consciousness clears itself. so drop all yogas; drop body-mind. consciousness will do what it needs to do.

but ultimately, one needs to follow one's bliss, whatever that may be. as Nisargadatta Maharaj was wont to say: earnestness is everything!

to be more precise, one WILL follow one's bliss. for it is the destiny of awareness to be aware. and being aware is, you guessed it, bliss.

it's not as if there's some soul within you; there's just you hidden by the thought there's some soul within you.

please! this is not some atheistic lazy bs. it's not that i don't believe in god; i'm just god who doesn't believe in me.

zero whacks one sonnet

sunlight rising from its bed to greet itself—

smoke gets in the I.

fourteen billion years and they put you on the daze shift.

when lost in doubt, try and look

to love, compassion, and forgiveness for true north.

how separate is the living body from surrounding air—

you can pick your god but not your knowing.

i have no opinion about any of my many opinions.

a good joke is a form of neti neti—

zero whacks one that breaks in two:

unknown but not unbelievable.

like a fly a compound i,

10000 spy one hue and cry—

dropout of memory and attend now.

the fire-bird sonnet

embodiment is not thoughtlessness;

one wakes from the dream to be in the dream—

no matter, what happens.

in the practice of detachment,

religions are formed around attachment to practice.

trees dropping off leaves—

bare tree awareness!

a working class zero is something to be.

look for the one with the sun in her eyes and she's gone—

reflection, illumination, dark mother of light.

the ball keeps bouncing; after inward comes outward—

going crackers: in the soup but not of the soup.

the phoenix rises from the ashes of self-destruction;

the fire-bird flies on the fuel of pure reality.

one sonnet to real them all

after hacking through the weeds, rest in the clearing.

after weeding through the hacks, clear in the rest.

the inarguable that one reaches after all the argument negates the arguable.

not nothing to do, but nothing ever did. accept that and be done.

the devil is in the details and the details are in time.

truth will not be realized tomorrow.

the revolution will not be memorized.

the crucifixion is self-inquiry; the death is resting in the peace of awareness; the resurrection is the embodiment of the absolute. amen.

it's all so sri-real!

all one: mirror reflection & presence.

all one: energy intelligence & existence.

all one: bliss consciousness & being.

all one: universe wisdom & god.

—watching the shimmering river flow.

arising sonnet

it's never too late to know you're full of shit and evacuate yourself.

taking things personally is the meaning of life for any person.

ego is the master deceiver; abandon all hope ye who divine it.

feel the i of this manifested storm lost in the wind of the me.

who knows what love lurks in the dreams of men and women? only the heart knows!

first, pay attention. then, pay attention to attention.

be beyond the box that's thinking outside the box which is just another box inside the same old box.

feel the affectionate foundation of that universal presence and let it build one’s house of dawn each day.

peaceful self-intelligent energy arising out of pure potentiality of the big unknown once had a great notion to jump in the river and drown.

don't think, be aware of being aware, be; it's not rocket science!

not taking the personal personal and resting in that which has always been being.

we interrupt this dream to say there are no interruptions in this dream that can be said.

ego is the antichrist; the workaday world is the antilove; the second coming is your awakening; the final judgment is now; arise!

only this: only now is alive; only play is work; only love is purpose. and only resting in peace is the way which that manifests this.

Nisargadatta On a Living

Q: To live, one must look after oneself, one must earn money for oneself.

M: You need not earn for yourself, but you may have to—for a woman and a child. You may have to keep on working for the sake of others. Even just to keep alive can be a sacrifice. There is no need whatsoever to be selfish. Discard every self-seeking motive as soon as it is seen and you need not search for truth; truth will find you.

Q: There is a minimum of needs.

M: Were they not supplied since you were conceived? Give up the bondage of self-concern and be what you are—intelligence and love in action.

Q: But one must survive!

M: You can't help surviving! The real you is timeless and beyond birth and death. And the body will survive as long as it is needed. It is not important that it should live long. A full life is better than a long life.

*****

M: Abandon all self-concern, worry not about your welfare, material or spiritual, abandon every desire, gross or subtle, stop thinking of achievement of any kind. You are complete here and now, you need absolutely nothing.

It does not mean that you must be brainless and foolhardy, improvident or indifferent; only the basic anxiety for oneself must go. You need some food, clothing and shelter for you and yours, but this will not create problems as long as greed is not taken for a need. Live in tune with things as they are and not as they are imagined.

Reality is what makes the present so vital, so different from the past and future, which are merely mental. If you need time to achieve something, it must be false. The real is always with you; you need not wait to be what you are. Only you must not allow your mind to go out of yourself in search. When you want something, ask yourself: do I really need it? and if the answer is no, then just drop it.

Life is worthy of the name only when it reflects Reality in action. No university will teach you how to live so that when the time of dying comes, you can say: I lived well I do not need to live again. Most of us die wishing we could live again. So many mistakes committed, so much left undone. Most of the people vegetate, but do not live. They merely gather experience and enrich their memory. But experience is the denial of Reality, which is neither sensory nor conceptual, neither of the body, nor of the mind, though it includes and transcends both.

agape agape sonnet

consciousness appears

to transform into a body-mind

in order to amplify itself past feedback

toward echo cancellation of self-aware silence.

body-mind when seen as spacetime appears

to be evolution of the universe over 14 billion years

but is actually one consciousness here & now—

the great game of hide and seek.

just resting here and watching the shapeshifter shifting;

after the necessary practice,

one stops to let the music perform—

the morning rises in the light of being,

dew motionless on the verdant mercury of grass.

agape agape para-agape parasamagape bodhi svaha!

One's Ordinary Is Not Necessarily Natural

There are many who speak of the ordinary nature of nondual awareness. I’ve taken issue with this word because I believe it’s deceiving to many. Definition is crucial. So what is ordinary?

When I first began hiking mountain trails, I discovered there came a point in that hiking when all thoughts, whether they be about the previous week’s concerns of family and work or the thoughts about the difficulties of the current trail itself, would suddenly disappear. And all that remained was the hiking itself. It was as if the person disappeared and only the trail remained in the clear mountain air of heightened awareness.

I called this the wall. Before the wall, there was anxiety and fear. After the wall, there was only the mountain. For many people, if not most, the state of consciousness before the wall is their ordinary state. Telling one who is lost in the world of thought that nondual awareness is ordinary is like telling a single mother of three who just lost her job and is living from paycheck to paycheck, she’s rich.

Yes, once one has experienced walking through that wall, one knows what came before the wall is not ordinary at all, but a fabricated abnormal world of memory and desire. What came before the wall is past and future; what comes after the wall is now. And what comes after the wall could be called ordinary, if that word had not been debased and devalued by the world before the wall.

This is why I much prefer the word ‘natural’ to describe this state. It’s a word still holding its innate value. And, for me, it describes much more clearly that experience on the mountain. I had come from what I thought was ordinary to what I know is natural.

Before hiking there appeared an ordinary mountain of anxiety and fear. During the hike there came a sudden wall. After the wall, there was only the natural mountain, the clear space of pure awareness.

Gone Altogether Beyond Visualization

There are many practices involving visualization. I feel such practices may be useful if used to reach a jumping off point to an observation of being. But since any visualization practice is one utilizing thought in its domain of imagination, if one doesn’t jump, it just remains more mind. To paraphrase Allen Ginsberg, I’ve seen the best minds of contemporary spirituality destroyed by imagination.

It’s probably best to utilize a visualization practice which is suited for the particular mind visualizing. To suggest a visualization which is suited to one mind for the use of another mind is pure madness, and I guess would likely land that other mind exactly there. Mind is merely memory and no memory is alike. So one mind’s visualization will easily become another mind’s lunatic belief.

This mind is suited to the following visualization based on the reflexive process of the light of awareness. Please do not practice this at home. Create your own. I describe this only to indicate the necessity of a jumping off point. I will not be responsible for leading you to some mad mad mad mad finger-pointing world.

First, I visualize the light of awareness manifesting through what scientists call the Big Bang, but what I prefer to see as the Big Love. This pure light descends transforming into the rock-like molecular structure of something like a moon-like earth, passing through previous intervals of wave/particle patterning and atomic formation. I like to visualize this resultant moon-like earth to be as hard as a great big white western ego.

Then this bare rock planet is called back by the light, transforming into a movement of organic molecules, to a rustling of various botanies, to the evolution of self-maneuvering animal life until the human nervous system arrives ready now to ascend back into that light of pure awareness.

And then I jump.

Into that being aware of being, light aware of light, dissolving into the unknown nonentity of being light.

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha

The Orange Moon of Consciousness

Let’s understand what we are doing when talking about spiritual concepts like meta-paradigms and consciousness. And let us understand a common danger which exists when doing so.

First, all of these words are just concepts and no concept is the truth; it is only a representation of the truth. In other words, it’s just an idea about experience. It’s not the actual experience. In Zen, they say the wise man points to the moon but the fool looks at the finger. It’s the moon of spiritual experience one is seeking and not the finger pointing to it. Keep your eyes on the prize.

Imagine trying to describe the taste of an orange to someone who has never eaten one! Try all you might with dozens of delicious and juicy words, you will never do so. Ultimately, an orange will need to be tasted to understand the taste of an orange. Oh sure, you may need to go to a grocery store to procure one, but such are the little inconveniences of this modern life.

Describing consciousness, or spirit or being or presence if you will, is exactly the same. Words can be used to show one where to look, or how to look, or even why one should bother to look. Words can even be used to point out the qualities to look for.

Osho said he shared his experiences so when you experienced them yourself, you would remain grounded and not go mad from their weirdness. Such words may appear scientific and knowledgeable and even metaphysical, but they will never ever ever ever be a substitute for the taste of consciousness.

Fortunately, one need go nowhere further. One actually is consciousness. So after reading the words pointing to it, always stop to taste it! Being conscious of being conscious is in itself the heartfelt way to reality.

Also, there’s a process of spiritual deconstruction in which one idea is removed by another idea. And then both ideas are abandoned, leaving one in experiential reality. In India, they describe it as using a thorn to remove a thorn. When the thorn is removed, one throws away both thorns. It makes all the sense in the world.

Otherwise, what one would accomplish is merely the removal of one belief in favor of a new one. Beliefs are merely concepts with which one has attached, and no concept is experientially true. No belief in any orange is a substitute for the experience of an orange.

And this is the fundamental flaw of most religions. Somewhere in their early years, wisdom was practiced to remove a false belief, say a false meta-paradigm. But instead of abandoning the concepts used to point out the actual experience, they attached to them. Praise the new thorn, same as the old thorn!

Look, these are extremely important warnings for anyone on the spiritual path. This is absolutely crucial to understand. Every sectarian religious belief was founded on an aspect of perennial wisdom which was believed rather than followed toward the actual experience it was pointing to. The result is more delusion, more suffering, more religious wars and strife.

A true believer never knows the truth. A fundamentalist never experiences one’s real foundation of peace.

Assbackwards Spirituality 1: Spirit

Here’s the thing. Most of us believe in a world of things. In other words, our understanding of the basic structure of the universe is a material one. The world is constructed from the basic building blocks of atoms, and it is a tangible one, physical, rock hard.

The story continues. From this material world, somehow, through the physical evolution of a brain and central nervous system, strange material concoctions of chemicals and electricity, consciousness appears (they’ll get back to you on exactly how this happens because no one really has a clue). And there you go. This is the meta-paradigm of western civilization. This is the backbone of our relationship with it and everyone in it. We are material girls and boys.

But all perennial wisdom says we have it assbackwards.

There is a quote by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin which attempts to explain this mistake with a nice turn of language: “we are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” It’s actually a pretty good approximation of that assbackwardsness I speak of, but too often it’s just seen as something pretty.

Because to truly understand this difference would literally change your world. Your meta-paradigm would literally shift. Imagine what happens to the earth when its poles perform such a shift. Not only do weather patterns change, but climates go haywire.

This new meta-paradigm simply says all is consciousness. Everything is literally spirit! And what we experience as the material is but an appearance in consciousness. In other words, first and foremost, one and only, is consciousness, not some material construction. And then the material appears from out of that. (No one has to get back to you on how consciousness appears from the material because it doesn’t!)

This is a revolutionary understanding! Your mind will be blown. The Gospel of Thomas says it this way: “Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished…”

to be continued with more mind-blowing truth and consequences

Krishnamurti, Love, and Invisible Me

I’m becoming invisible. Those forms, be they people or other, to which I had been attached are falling away. And not of my own doing. Even when it appears I may have been the agent of change, it felt as if I had no choice in the matter. The past year has been particularly momentous. A mother dies. A job found is relinquished. A lover leaves. Add these to previous separations from close family and here I am completely adrift. Free.

J. Krishnamurti writes:

Where are you going to start? You must start from freedom. Where there is freedom there is love. This freedom and love will show you when to co-operate and when not to cooperate. This is not an act of choice, because choice is the result of confusion. Love and freedom are intelligence.

This true intelligence is life, of course. Call it consciousness, being, the universe, or god, it is the intelligence which rules the stars and operates all quantum mechanics. It is said a million monkeys on a million typewriters would in time write all of Shakespeare. But it is more truthful to say a million Shakespeares could never create a single monkey.

People are enamored by their creations though. They are dazzled by belief, ideas, and all kinds of thought. So much so, that most people forget what they are and believe some idea about themselves instead. In fact, that may be the best definition of a person: consciousness identifying with thought. The limitless god becomes the limited ego.

Again Krishnamurti:

Thought itself is always divisive, so all action based on an idea or an ideology is division. Thought cultivates prejudice, opinion, judgment. Man in himself, being divided, seeks freedom out of this division. Not being able to find it he hopes to integrate the various divisions, and of course this is not possible. You cannot integrate two prejudices. To live in this world in freedom means to live with love, eschewing every form of division.

For me, this may be Krishnamurti’s prime idea, the thorn which removes all thorns. Thought is binary. Like all the ones and zeroes behind all computer software, it creates a marvelous world. In this manner, thought is a wonderful tool. But it is not the true intelligence of the universe, the One. Again, it is binary. So when one identifies with any thought, one is inherently divided. Violence and war are not random events in the history of humankind; they are the intrinsic and inevitable outcome of people.

And people will be people. But in the midst of all these thought forms arises love. Not romantic love or possessive love, but unconditional love. This is the love a newborn brings into the world. This is pure being, consciousness, life, before it is socially conditioned into a thought form by all the well-meaning parents, teachers, and friends. It is what we are and not who we think we are. Love is the holy spirit, the satguru coming into the world of thought-forms and showing the true way.

So for me, this is the unavoidable equation. Whenever the way is questioned or misplaced or lost, I look to this one inescapable conclusion. A person is constantly divided, no ifs, ands or buts. Despite the plea for humanism on the one hand or the American Dream on the other, they are impossible ways. Violence of some sort is inevitable, even if it is just that quiet desperation Thoreau speaks to, a quiet desperation which is so ingrained in the person, it appears not be a desperation at all. Hey, it’s the way of the world!

But there is another way: in the world but not of the world. There is nothing to do but stop doing. Surrender to the holy spirit, the satguru, love. And love will beget freedom and freedom will beget love. Yet, will it be an easy way? It all depends what one sees as easy.

When one identifies one’s self as a person, it won’t be all that easy. I can tell you this from personal experience. Losing a mother hurts. Losing a lover is literally heart-breaking. Under such conditions, one’s social conditioning reappears with a vengeance. One spins out of control until that time one centers in being, if one centers again in being.

And, to repeat, people will be people. Unconditional love, despite all the rave reviews, is not loved all that much by people. In fact, from someone other than a newborn, it is quite threatening. The death of Jesus points to this, if nothing else. Most people will just rain bad thoughts on anyone espousing unconditional love. Impractical. Good-for-nothing. Has no future. True. True. True.

So, if you’re looking for a shower of love, don’t look outside. Look within. And be. There’s no need to look any further. Being is love. 

The Fox - Winslow Homer

steps sutra

step one:

by any means necessary,

discover who you think you are is

a dream, a story, a fiction,

and not what you really are.


step two:

when one truly realizes one isn't the personal doer,

the 'who you think you are' and

the 'any means necessary'

naturally drop away.


step three:

"Relax and watch the 'I am'—

Reality is just behind it—

Keep quiet—

keep silent—

it will emerge—

or rather it will take you in."

~Nisargadatta


note:

movement is

1) I am a

[fill in this space with the thought of the moment];

2) I am

(aka being);

3) I

(aka pure subjective awareness).


namaste for now

karma sutra

karma is just the concept of evolution from a personal point of view.

change happens and then stories are told.

here’s one.


it appears consciousness descends into a state of bondage,

whether material or personal, molecular or egoic;

and then ascends to its freedom.


this descent from freedom into bondage

and ascent from bondage into freedom

can be called the course of evolution.


it appears the human stage of evolution is the final one

moving toward freedom of pure consciousness;

karma is that agent of this change.


light to light; never was not light.

holographic sutra

welcome to the holograph.

in the light of awareness there is no spacetime—

ah, six billion fallen angels. oh, the humanity!

to see the holograph as holograph, go intuit—

holy hollow holograph.


behind ceaseless transformation is

the silence of infinite potentiality.

take a lesson from your self—

transform, transform, transform.


if one obsesses on any particular metaphor or practice,

one begins to believe it;

such is the descent of way into religion.


the world is a slumber party—

mass awakening is just another oxymoron;

disbelieve!


do not concern oneself with anyone

but oneself when it comes to waking up.

drop the belief one is the doer.

let the doing do all the waking.

jesus and arjuna sutra

in the world but not of the world

does not equal

within the world but beyond the world.


arjuna got up to slay closest family & friends

in an active sacred confirmation all is maya,

not to merely play a complicit part within it.


jesus sacrificed his own illusory separate existence

in an active sacred confirmation of that loving

universal unity of christ consciousness.


different sides of the same coin—

like homer, i like stories.

50 ways sutra

hiking karmic trails above the be-line,

tripping over ancient glacial depressions,

now appearing—

there must be 50 ways to leave samsara.


get on the way, jay,

it don't have to be zen, ben,

just listen to peace—


there's nothing the lie can do

to access that which is true;

the lie can only be undone, seen through

in this surrendering to one that’s true.


devoted to no practice but that

in the form of surrender

and any practice in the form of surrender is

just another name for devotion.


the known can't know

the unknown but nothing is

truly known; know this

and one is unknown


—get on blue jay, way,

it don't have to be been, zen,

just peace out and be.

subjective sutra

if you can think it, it isn't it.

evolution is just light calling itself back home.

don't overthink the unthinkable—

one mind many frequencies.


god the father subjective pure awareness—

god the son phenomena of universal consciousness—

god the holy spirit ascending

upon the usurping object—


god the unmanifest subjective—

god the manifest objective—

god the holy satguru that comes by grace

to the object usurping subjectivity—


in this one original sin

when that which is being done

assumes the role of the doer

all hell breaks loose.


one object's void is

the subject's potentiality

while actual unconditional love is

not a pretty thought.

the nonet sutra

listen to your inner nonet—

stop, look & listen, but find your own way;

when in doubt, love.

after all is said and done, there you are, still—

east of light and west of spacetime.

there's nothing you can know that is the unknown.

devoted to that which doesn't know i am.

i lit a lamp to see myself but only saw the light.

one knows the real in loving that which is seen to be illusion.

fractal sutra

darkness at the edge of ego—

my belief is bigger than yours—

what are the odds for ten thousand to one?


sometimes you eat the snake

and sometimes the snake eats you

and all of the time you are the snake

but no time is there ever any snake.


who am i, what is light, and why a dragonfly

were sitting nowhere as all spacetime stopped;

seeing sees nothing to be seen—


not a thought, not a knot of thought,

not even a dot of a positive thought,

not even that curative counteractive thought,

no, not even not.


it's all fractal—

dream within dream within dream

et cetera, et cetera, et cetera...

good grief sutra

don't underestimate the overlooked; when it suddenly appears, it will be one energetic and revealing ride. eyes open!

the 5 stages of grief are just the 5 flavors of thought. kind of fascinating to watch them form & melt. but lick one & your heart burns or freezes.

and you will lick them all or they’ll lick you.


1st stage of grief is called denial. i call it sadness. an extroverted thought-emotion. crying is usually its outward sign.

2nd stage of grief is another extroverted thought-emotion: anger. its outward sign is a loud voicing or physical action.

3rd stage of grief is bargaining; i call it fear. an introverted thought-emotion. its inward sign is a stress, strain, anxiety.

4th stage of grief is called negotiation; i call it depression. an inward thought emotion. its inward sign is a physical malaise.


the 1st four stages happen as thoughts arising. if you buy into the thought, you're in for a ride. but they need to be acknowledged or else they keep on returning.

at first, the grief thought dominates the ego thought; later, the ego thought may utilize the grief thought.


the final one of the five stages of grief is acceptance. ah, this is the trickiest one. for this too must pass.

when a cycle of thoughts incessantly arise, it helps to write them all down; now those little objects are pinned in place for safe-keeping.

when the thoughts are later reviewed, one can see already a change in one’s point of view toward them; the story is not as consistent as one believes: the personal ego shift.


the fifth stage of grief is called acceptance: ‘i know what happened & accept it.’ but there could be a 6th stage: non-acceptance. but a 7th stage?

in non-acceptance, whichever thought pattern dominates the personal ego (sadness, anger, depression, or fear) will remain to direct the grief.

in acceptance, the personal ego will continue to believe in its ongoing story, just creating a new one from the recent grief.

the 7th stage of grief, transcendence: i don’t know what really happened. not acceptance nor non-acceptance; it is what it is: life/love/i-am happening.