2011-07-13

Gospel of Aum Dada 4: Let Love

My thoughts were going back and forth like a ping pong ball. I should tell Jane I love her. The woods were a luminous emerald green today. Of course, she loves me too. A bluebird flew by. Life will be splendiferous! Turning, I watched ten thousand suns swimming in the golden lake. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a crow settled on the beach. What am I thinking? I watched it vomit out an earth-wrenching caw. Of course I shouldn’t tell Jane I love her. A cloud passed under the sun and the world became a territory possessed by shadow. She loathes me. My stomach growled; I obviously had been poisoned at breakfast. Life will be humiliating! “Your serve!”

My aunt interrupted my endless internal volley. She had just defeated my cousin, and it was my turn to take on her latest challenge. The ping pong table was half-way between her cottage and the shore, underneath the shelter of tall pine trees. When not diving off the raft or sitting on the porch playing crazy eights, I could often be found here improving my low fast awesome serve.

But not today. Although I had been sitting on an Adirondack chair ostensibly watching my aunt and cousin volley back and forth, I really was lost in this latest quandary. I absolutely loved Jane. I loved her heaven-sent, earth goddess, lake nymph ways. I loved the timeless tender mystery of her soft ethereal breath becoming tangible laughter in my ears. I loved all the missing meaning in the flirtatious tone of her voice speaking everlasting words that only I would hear. Oh, ye gods of New Moon Lake, take pity on this poor suburban boy, for here this summer in this paradise of earth, wind and water, I have fallen—in love with Jane!

“Sorry,” I replied in visible pain to my aunt. “I’m feeling a little under the weather. I think I’ll go burn for awhile in the sun.” And I thought I did.

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